It's the day you've been waiting for—the day when you can finally say, "I do."

When it comes to weddings, we are all creatures of habit. So, it's understandable that same-sex weddings might bring out feelings of uncertainty and apprehension for the organizers & attendees. You want everything to be perfect, and you want it to go off without a hitch—but how?

Well, relax! We've got your back.

While the rules of wedding etiquette are as antiquated and gendered as your grandparents’ marriage, we at Courtly believe it is time to let go of these dated notions and remember that love is love.

In this blog, we'll be sharing some tips for planning your same-sex wedding with our readers in mind. We want you to get it all done without breaking a sweat. 

Let's get started!

Do’s of same-sex wedding planning

1. Do make sure you have plenty of time for planning

Plan your wedding early! You have more time to plan and get excited about the whole thing than if you wait until the last minute.

2. Do create a budget, and stick to it

Make sure you're on a budget. This is important for everyone, but especially for same-sex couples when it comes to their wedding. The cost of everything from venue space to food, flowers, rentals, and transportation will add up quickly.

3. Do consult with a wedding planner

If you want the process to go as smoothly as possible, a professional will help make sure that all the details are handled correctly and on time. They'll also be able to ensure that everyone is on the same page about what kind of wedding you want, so there aren't any surprises later down the line. This can give you peace of mind, knowing that everything will go according to plan and that there will be someone there for you throughout the entire process.

4. Do choose a location that is meaningful to both of you

Make sure your ceremony or reception will have the space you need. Make sure that any venue you choose has an open mind about your gender or sexuality and will treat your guests with respect and care.

If you're having a destination wedding, don't be afraid to personalize your wedding however you want—you've got more freedom than ever in planning this kind of celebration!

If you're getting married at home, there are still tons of ways to add a little flair and make it unique. It doesn't have to be big or expensive; just think about what would make this day truly special for each of you—and go from there!

5. Do make sure all the important details are taken care of

Do take care of all the important details—from guest lists to RSVPs to flowers! You'll want everything in order so that when the day comes, everything goes off without a hitch. You don't want any last-minute surprises or awkward moments with family members showing up at the wrong time or place. It's best to err on the side of caution here!

6. Do set aside time for each of your families

Make sure everyone is on board with what you're planning! It's important that everyone understands that you want this wedding to be perfect and special, so take some time to talk about what will make it so—and make sure everyone is on board! They need to be involved in the planning process from the beginning so that they have time to get used to the idea of your marriage before the big day arrives!

7. Do your research

Find out what local laws and regulations regarding marriage equality are in your area. Before you get married, it's important to do some research on what is legally required for your ceremony. You'll want to make sure that everything is set up correctly before the ceremony.

Don'ts of same-sex wedding planning

1. Don't forget to include your partner in the planning process

One thing you should never forget is that this is a special occasion for the two of you—not just an event for your friends and family members.  This is a team effort, so don't make your partner feel like he/she is being left out of the process.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions! You will learn so much by talking with each other about what makes sense for both of you as individuals and as a couple.

2. Don't forget to consider your guests and what will make them comfortable

Don't forget about your guests' comfort and safety during this special time! They're not just guests; they're friends who want nothing more than to share this day with you. If a lot of people you know are openly gay or lesbian, they may not be as surprised as you think they will be by the topic of your wedding. However, don't forget about your friends and family who aren't heterosexual—they're still part of this journey, too! Consider what will make your guests feel comfortable at your wedding. If there is anything in particular that bothers them, let them know before it becomes an issue—there are ways around it!

3. Don’t be afraid of personalization

Plan your wedding the way you want it to be! You don't have to follow anyone else's timeline, or even stick to tradition if that's not your style. If you have specific ideas about how you'd like your wedding day to go, don't be afraid to personalize it however you want.

4. Don't stress out about the small things

If you're planning a same-sex wedding, you've probably noticed that there's a lot of talk about "the small things." You know, like the kind of tiny details that can really make or break your day. But here's the thing: your wedding is your day. It's not anyone else's. So, don't stress out about the small things—they'll be fine!

It's easy to get caught up in all of the planning and forget that sometimes it's okay just to sit back, relax, and enjoy getting married without having to worry.

5. Don't be afraid to call in help

You are not alone in this process, and there are people who want to help you make it happen—so don't be afraid to reach out! Ask for help! Whether it's from friends or family members, or from professionals who specialize in online LGBTQ weddings (like us), we're here to help make sure that all your dreams come true!

Planning your same-sex wedding can be a little more challenging than planning a traditional wedding. In addition to the legal aspects of your ceremony and reception, you have to take into consideration how you want to feel as well as what you want your guests to feel when they attend.

Let us handle the paperwork.

Getting married is complicated. Courtly simplifies the process and provides everything necessary to get married online, including providing a licensed officiant who can perform a remote ceremony.

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