How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

April 19, 2023
7 minutes, 43 seconds

As you prepare for your wedding, one of the most important moments of the day will be when you exchange your wedding vows. Wedding vows are a declaration of your love, commitment, and promises to one another, and they serve as a foundation for your online marriage.

While traditional wedding vows are beautiful and meaningful, many couples opt to write their vows to make the moment even more special and personal. Writing your own wedding vows allows you to express your feelings in your own words and make promises that are unique to your relationship.

In this article, we will guide you through the process of writing your wedding vows, from brainstorming ideas to delivering them on the big day. We hope that by the end of this article, you will have the confidence and inspiration to create heartfelt and memorable vows that will truly reflect your love and commitment to your partner.

Bride with bouquet and wedding vow in hands

Why Write Personalized Wedding Vows?

There are several reasons why writing personalized wedding vows is a great idea:

  • Personalized vows are more heartfelt: When you write your own vows, you can express your love and commitment in your own words. This makes the vows more personal and meaningful and allows you to speak directly to your partner from your heart.
  • They reflect the unique love story of the couple: No two love stories are the same, and writing your own vows allows you to incorporate the special moments, inside jokes, and shared experiences that make your relationship unique.
  • Personalized vows make the ceremony more special: A wedding ceremony is a celebration of your love, and personalized vows add an extra layer of emotion and sentimentality. When you speak your own words, you make the moment more personal and special for both you and your partner.
  • They show your commitment to your partner: Writing your own vows is a sign of your dedication to your partner and your relationship. It demonstrates that you have taken the time to reflect on your love and are making a personal promise to cherish and care for your partner for years to come.

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows can be an overwhelming task, but with these tips, you can create vows that are heartfelt, personal, and memorable.

Brainstorming ideas for vows:

  • Reflect on your relationship: Write down memories, moments, and experiences that have been meaningful to you as a couple.
  • List traits you love about each other: Jot down the qualities that you admire and appreciate in your partner, such as their kindness, humor, or generosity.
  • Think about your future together: Consider your hopes and dreams for your future as a couple, and include promises and commitments for your life together.

Finding inspiration for vows:

  • Read books, poems, and quotes: Look for inspiration in literature, poetry, and even movie quotes that capture the essence of your love story.
  • Draw from your cultural traditions: Incorporate customs or rituals that have special significance to your culture or family.
  • Reflect on your love story: Recall special moments or events that have shaped your relationship, and use them to inspire your vows.

Crafting your vows:

  • Start with a statement of love: Begin your vows by expressing your love for your partner and how much they mean to you.
  • Include personal anecdotes: Share stories and memories that are unique to your relationship and help to illustrate your love for each other.
  • Make promises to each other: Make specific promises to each other that demonstrate your commitment and devotion to your marriage.

Rehearsing your vows:

  • Read your vows aloud: Practice reading your vows aloud to get a feel for how they sound and to help you memorize them.
  • Get feedback: Read your vows to a trusted friend or family member and ask for their feedback and suggestions.
  • Practice in front of a mirror: Rehearse your vows in front of a mirror to help build your confidence and ensure that you are delivering them with the right emotion and tone.

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from your heart and express your love and commitment to your partner in your own unique way. With these tips, you can write vows that will be a beautiful and unforgettable part of your wedding day.

Examples of Wedding Vows

Some examples you can include:

  1. "I take you to be my partner, my best friend, and my love. I vow to support you, challenge you, and celebrate with you through life's joys and sorrows. I will respect and cherish you, and together we will create a home filled with love, laughter, and adventure." - From The Knot
  1. "I promise to be your partner, your confidant, and your best friend. I will be your equal partner in a loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live." - From Brides
  1. “I, Bride/Groom, affirm my love to you, Bride/Groom, as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you. With kindness, unselfishness, and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together.” - From Wedding Forwards
  2. "I take you to be my partner in life, to have and to hold from this day forward. I promise to love you, respect you, and cherish you, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will be your faithful partner, your friend, and your soulmate." - From Martha Stewart Weddings
  3. "I promise to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as in sorrow. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before." - From Wedding Wire
  4. "I vow to always choose you, to put you first, and to love you even when things get tough. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you, and to support you in everything you do." - From Zola

Do's and Don'ts of Writing Wedding Vows

What to include in your vows:

  1. Do express your love: Start by expressing your love for your partner and what they mean to you. Use specific examples to show how much you care.
  2. Do share your promises: Make promises to your partner about how you'll support them, care for them, and be there for them throughout your lives together.
  3. Do reflect on your relationship: Share personal anecdotes and memories that reflect the special bond you share. This will make your vows more meaningful and personal.
  4. Do include your future plans: Share your hopes and dreams for the future and how you envision spending your lives together.

Common mistakes to avoid when writing vows:

  1. Don't wait until the last minute: Start writing your vows early, so you have plenty of time to reflect and craft them carefully.
  2. Don't be too generic: Be specific and personal in your vows, avoiding cliches and overly general language.
  3. Don't be too long-winded: Keep your vows concise and to the point, so they are easy to follow and remember.
  4. Don't make unrealistic promises: Make sure your promises are achievable and reflect what you are truly capable of offering in your relationship.
  5. Don't forget to rehearse: Practice reading your vows aloud several times before the big day, so you feel confident and comfortable reciting them.


In conclusion, writing your own wedding vows is a special and meaningful way to express your love and commitment to your partner on your wedding day. By following the tips and examples provided in this article, you can create vows that are unique, heartfelt, and reflective of your love story. Remember to take the time to brainstorm ideas, draw inspiration from different sources, craft your vows with care, and rehearse them before the big day. By avoiding common mistakes like using cliches, making unrealistic promises, or going overboard with humor, your vows will be a beautiful and sincere expression of your love for each other.

Wedding Vows FAQs:

How long should wedding vows be?

There is no set length for wedding vows, but they typically range from one to three minutes. The important thing is to say what you want to say in a way that feels authentic and heartfelt.

Can we include personal anecdotes in our wedding vows?

Yes, including personal anecdotes is a great way to make your vows more meaningful and reflective of your unique love story. Just be sure to keep it relevant and not too long-winded.

Should we write our vows together or separately?

It depends on what feels right for you as a couple. Some couples prefer to write their vows separately as a surprise for each other, while others prefer to collaborate and write them together. You can also do a combination of both, such as agreeing on a general structure and then writing your own individual vows within that framework.

Is it okay to memorize our wedding vows?

It is okay to memorize your wedding vows if you feel comfortable doing so, but it is also a good idea to have a written copy on hand just in case you get nervous or forgetful on the day of the wedding. You can also ask your officiant to hold a copy of your vows for you.

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